Inner Dialogue

It’s 5:46 AM and I am feeling weird, slightly sleepy, and partially caffeinated (and surrounded by cats… not actually surrounded. I have two cats and they are snuggled up on either side of me).

I generally try not to impulsively act/react to some of the feelings I get. I have a lot of inner dialogue and I think that sort of imagination comes of being a partial introvert (I almost wrote “a partial caffeination”. That makes absolutely no sense. I think I need to make more coffee). Anyway, part of my weird/judgmental/speculative feelings come from being an analytical individual. Continue reading

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Tactics

I tend to be the person who always ends up in tough conversations; so whether is politics, religion, personal, or what ever, things always get serious. One thing that takes a serious conversation south is usually a lack of respect. It’s funny how people say that it’s okay for other people to have different beliefs, but display a completely different attitude in the midst of a “heavy” conversation. I think one of the most disappointing things that happens in a conversation is when people start to degrade others. We’ve all either done this or been tempted to do it; it seems to happen when you can’t: prove your point, are at a loss of words, not sure what to say, frustrated, not communicating well, don’t feel like the other person understands you… the list can go on forever. The point is, it happens out of frustration. Continue reading

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Flaws in Friendship

Today, I had a conversation about friendship.

Over time, we get caught up in our everyday rhythms and lose track of those we care about. Granted, when you move to a different state or just a differendoor-opent place in life, friendships change. You lose friends and you gain friends, but I think we should be careful just how we chose to let go of people. In my naivete, I have abruptly closed doors in order to move forward. While this may have been easier for me, my actions were not always kind. That isn’t to say that there aren’t occasions where an abruptly closed door isn’t necessary. Merely, that it’s important to consider that what might be easier to you, might be hurtful to others. It’s important to make conscience decisions about closing doors, because once their closed they aren’t easy to re-open.

 

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Challenge the Norm

I think we find pieces of who we are at multiple stages in life. One event may lead us to one realization, while another years later may evolve that original thought into something of greater substance. I am young, I don’t know what I  want to do, but I do have work experience and I know this: I’ve learned that people abuse the positions they are in, the people who work under them, and the lines of morality. (I use the term morality in terms of what is legal and “right”. IE: sexual harassment; saying you’re a christian, yet running your business differently than what you preach; not hiring someone based on prejudices).  So, while I may not know the exact job function where I will thrive, I know who I don’t want to work for and what I am willing to put up with.

It’s hilarious to me that older generations love to point out all the flaws of Gen X and Gen Y, without ever looking at their own short comings. I am not saying that my generation does not have a sense of enlightenment, I’m saying that the ever judgmental baby boomers have their own issues too. I’m at an age where most of my superiors have been baby boomers and what I’ve learned from them is this:

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Taken By Samantha Hollyfield

Taken by Samantha Hollyfield

 

 

 

Love can be complicated, but showing love is simple. To show love, you reach out and care for someone in a way that speaks to them and not you. Love is selfless, thoughtful, and fights for what it longs to protect.  

L o v e

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Stairs of Doom

How does it happen? How do we get to a point where we don’t know what to do or where to go next. We make plans, agendas, form dreams, and somehow they all come to a screeching halt. How does this happen?????????!

Life never stops. It’s as if we are in this hamster ball of doom that is falling down a never ending stair case. But, then one day our ball starts rolling down the stairs so quickly it forms this anti gravity affect within it self and we start floating inside. Instead of fumbling around and trying to keep up, we are suddenly paralyzed. We can no longer plan, no longer adjust our calendar, no longer organize, we are just frozen as life keeps spinning by… So, what do we do in that moment? I can honestly say I have no idea. Horrible advice, right?

Well, I say I don’t know because I think we all become “paralyzed” for different reasons. While it would be easy to say, “believe in yourself; be strong; move one”. I don’t think any of those sayings actually have substance; I think they sound foolish to the person who hears them and feels immobilized. Sometimes life is horrible, devastating, and earth shattering. I think there are moments when we need to just float inside our anti gravity hamster ball that is spinning so fast we can’t even feel the ground. I think we just have to let the world slow down before we can even start to form an idea of what we are going to do next. We just have to breath and watch everything fly by.

Everyone is so eager to not let life escape them and to live in the moment, but part of living is allowing yourself to breath, quit planning, quit organizing, and just let yourself feel totally helpless. It can be in our moments of complete weakness that we find the most clarity. Sometimes clarity can take a long time to find, which means you may be vulnerable for quite a while and you may not be embracing “carpe diem”, but it just means you’re human. We all reach a point in life that changes, immobilizes, and shatters us; that is when we need to just breath and enjoy the anti gravity affect.

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Just You

There is a chasm that forms over time between our place of peace and the daily grind. Life takes us through the motions, heart aches, and adventures without skipping a beat; it never stops. While we pursue our goals and pay bills, we can forget what it feels like to just be ourselves. For most of us, there comes a time when we really figure out what it feels like to just be quiet. It usually happens when we have time on our hands. It doesn’t have to be an abundance of time, but it can be a period where we live alone or somehow come to a place where we really figure out what our lives look like when it is solely about ourselves. We oddly figure out how we fill our days and come to know what we really love and enjoy. Then, before we know it that time period is lost.

I encourage you not to lose your sense of YOU. It can be difficult to maintain the same free spirit when we are bombarded by life’s responsibilities. Despite all the chaos, there is a time when you can find that same peaceful sense of being. Find it in your moments of solitude and utilize your free time to indulge your spirit by doing things you love. Whether it be painting, walking around a shopping center, watching old films, or reading make time for just you. Indulge your heart; that does not necessarily mean indulging all your desires. It’s more of a way to bring your life and self back to a place that mirrors the real you. Not the stressed, frantic, and exhausted you.

I truly believe, knowing the things you truly enjoy can help you make decision that align with your happiness. When we get lost in the grind we tend to make decision that seem like the best or most lucrative things for us, but they end up not aligning our lives with what really makes us happy.

So, stay true to you. Be happy 🙂

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Finding Passion

Life can take us through a series of phases and some phases will turn out to be less pleasant than others. Despite life’s hardships, annoyance, and mandatory processes it is important to find something you are passionate about. Regardless of the stage we are in, I believe passion can make our prospective on life entirely shift. Our everyday routine does not have to be easy to feel fulfilling. I think during our busiest times we must hold onto our passion in order for it to fuel us throughout the day.

Passion can come from anywhere; it can be love or an activity. Above all, it is something that we enjoy doing regardless of the length we must go to in order to have it. Passion give us life, energy, and a purpose. There is a period in life when we may not enjoy our occupation, living situation, or finances, but having something that gives us life can change our entire prospective.

I think the ultimate goal is to find a job and a partner that gives us a feeling of purpose, drive, and enrichment. However, it can take years for both of those goals to align, which is why it’s important to find little things in our daily lives that restore our hope and happiness. Passion can make a moment feel endless, hours feel like minutes, and most importantly lifts our spirit to a place of serenity.

If you don’t have a passion, I implore you to find one. Go out, and make your world a different place by doing something you love.

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My Favorite Things

COFFEE 

Coffee is not an exclusive morning treat. I believe coffee happens when ever you wake up, regardless of the hour. I like living a healthy lifestyle, so I’m not about to agree that 12 cups a day is okay. One cup of delicious steaming coffee or ice cold black coffee with cream is enough to make my day feel ten times better, regardless of my circumstances or current feeling. Coffee is my small comfort, it fills the house with a refreshing aroma and soothes my fuzzy head in the morning.

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The Conundrum

Life keeps changing, going, and moving even if we choose to ignore its continuos motion; it never stops. We all risk getting caught up in our emotions, dilemmas, and personal chaos as life progresses. It’s choosing to see the bigger picture that can keep us grounded in the moment and tied to what is actually happening, instead of standing in the fog of our petty issues. Continue reading

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